看来以后的blog都得用华文写了
因为某人的投诉 (=P~秘密)
昨天熬夜写了札记
就是那种好像心情小记的的那种文章
华文老师“特别”要求留学生写的
结果，写着写着，就哭了
从家人，写到朋友，在写到中化
在麻坡的一切一切
眼泪，就这样一滴一滴的落在稿纸上
克制不了
完全失控了
今天早上起来，眼睛肿肿的
因为我又接下去哭了一整晚 （-.-)
这是我第一次在别人面前哭得那么惨
昨晚，和室友抱在一起哭
越哭越够力，就干脆不睡觉
看着漆黑，不断的回想起在麻坡的一切
想妈妈爸爸、弟弟妹妹、阿麼
想朋友、想中化、想师父
晚上这样，早上也不例外
尤其是上华文节的时候
我的眼睛从头到尾都是湿湿的
隐隐约约，我好像又听到了慧卿老师教课的声音
还有凯泫跟明慧的斗嘴声
听到《背影》，听到《那年的草色》
听到《马说》，听到《小石潭记》
还有《满江红》《枫桥夜泊》《春夜喜雨》
《女娲补天》《愚公移山》《矛盾》《为学一首致子侄》。。。
很多很多我以为自己都快忘了的课文
忽然的全部拥了上来
呵呵，看来我比自己想象中的更喜欢华文课呢
这里的华文。。。我真的不知道给怎么讲
马来文也是，我的第一堂马来文课竟然是朗读"puteri gunung ledang"
彻底的空蒙 (-.-)
原来，这里和我想象中的差了很多呢
没错，他们的英文真的是变态级的
教学方针也比中化好
设备更加不用讲
可是，我想，我是不会爱上这里的吧
这里的人，连基本的尊重都不懂
老师在讲课，他们能够若无其事的犯规，却又那么的理所当然
对于这点，我很反感，反感至极
就算他们在怎么厉害，成绩在怎么好
我也不会佩服他们
这个地方，是个没有灵魂的城市
没有根，我找不到根
在中化，华人的根无所不在
但是这里，却像是在贫瘠的土地上建起来的高楼大厦似的
很华丽，可是也很空虚
空虚的让人觉得战栗
在这里，我感到自己像个寄宿者
寄宿在别人的仓库里生活的寄宿者
突然，好像好像回到麻坡，回到中化，回到初三仁
那个平凡的小镇，有着浓浓的温暖
那个初三仁，让我有种回到家里的感动
那些，都是取代不了的
现在才真正的发现，身边所有的事务并非理所当然
朋友，家人，师长
他们的存在，不是理所当然的
当有一天，你发现他们都离开你的时候
你会真正的体会，这一切，是值得珍惜的
即使只是一句简单的问候，都会让你怀念、感动
呵呵，怎么办，现在好想哭呢
但是，我总不能一直这样哭下去吧
生活，还是要过的
即使身边都没人了，日子，还是要过的
等到了那一天
当我想起我的家人、朋友时，不再是哭泣，而是灿烂的笑着时
我会以自己为傲
为了这样的一天，痛，是值得的
为了让自己成长，这一切，都是值得的
值得的。。。。
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Saturday, January 1, 2011
T.O..J.E.S.S.Y
the reason u ll feel lonely even u hav so many frens around u
its bcos no one among them understands u thoroughly
ya, no one
there is no one in this world who ll know yorself more than yorself
cus sometimes, even u dunno yorself vry well too
emotions r really strange things
sometimes u ll feel so satisfied wif wat u hav now
but sometimes, u ll juz feel tat u r living all alone
nothing, n no one who is caring about u
NO ONE UNDERSTANDS YOU
u r lik living yor own life
watching others living their lives
n feel nothing
u ll not leave anything to them, nor to the world if u suddenly evaporate someday
u r lik, ya, some kinda passerby
EVERYBODY IS A PASSERBY IN LIFE
so why should i rely on others?
i hav nothing for them, not even my heart
wat makes me think tat i can rely on them?
wat if, i got used to tis kinda "reliance"
could i still live on my own for the rest of my life?
would i interupt the one i relied n bother her/his life?
m i that kinda thicked-face to get into somebody's life, juz to rely on her/him?
juz to let her/him share my sufferings n unhappiness?
juz to tie her/him by my side, forever?
EVERYBODY HAS THEIR OWN LIFE
I, as a passer-by, dun hav the authority to interupt
cus i m NOBODY
i dun wanna feel upset when i knew this fact in the end
so i choose to remind myself over n over again
i choose not to rely
but girl, do u know?
u cant rely, but u can share
u can share yor feelings, thoughts n emotions wif us
u will not tie anybody by yor side, u dun hav to
its meaningless, everybody ll leave someday
but, as a friend, i m willing to share my feelings wif u
no matter sadness or happiness
cos u r my friend, true hearted friend
dun think u r troublesome to others
there is no such word as "troublesome" to a true friend
although everybody hav their own life to live
but now, future, we r still friends
our life bcom joyful bcus of the ppl who can share our feelings around us
our family, our confidants, our buddies, our friends
these r the ppl who u can share, but not rely
i can understand y didnt u cry in front of ppl
u dun wanna expose too much emotions in front of them
that ll make u lose control n wanna rely
but pls, dun keep everything to yorself
this ll make yor heart feel burdensome
i m always here to share, there is always someone for u to share
FACE YOUR LIFE HAPPILY
GD LUCK, SMILE=)
its bcos no one among them understands u thoroughly
ya, no one
there is no one in this world who ll know yorself more than yorself
cus sometimes, even u dunno yorself vry well too
emotions r really strange things
sometimes u ll feel so satisfied wif wat u hav now
but sometimes, u ll juz feel tat u r living all alone
nothing, n no one who is caring about u
NO ONE UNDERSTANDS YOU
u r lik living yor own life
watching others living their lives
n feel nothing
u ll not leave anything to them, nor to the world if u suddenly evaporate someday
u r lik, ya, some kinda passerby
EVERYBODY IS A PASSERBY IN LIFE
so why should i rely on others?
i hav nothing for them, not even my heart
wat makes me think tat i can rely on them?
wat if, i got used to tis kinda "reliance"
could i still live on my own for the rest of my life?
would i interupt the one i relied n bother her/his life?
m i that kinda thicked-face to get into somebody's life, juz to rely on her/him?
juz to let her/him share my sufferings n unhappiness?
juz to tie her/him by my side, forever?
EVERYBODY HAS THEIR OWN LIFE
I, as a passer-by, dun hav the authority to interupt
cus i m NOBODY
i dun wanna feel upset when i knew this fact in the end
so i choose to remind myself over n over again
i choose not to rely
but girl, do u know?
u cant rely, but u can share
u can share yor feelings, thoughts n emotions wif us
u will not tie anybody by yor side, u dun hav to
its meaningless, everybody ll leave someday
but, as a friend, i m willing to share my feelings wif u
no matter sadness or happiness
cos u r my friend, true hearted friend
dun think u r troublesome to others
there is no such word as "troublesome" to a true friend
although everybody hav their own life to live
but now, future, we r still friends
our life bcom joyful bcus of the ppl who can share our feelings around us
our family, our confidants, our buddies, our friends
these r the ppl who u can share, but not rely
i can understand y didnt u cry in front of ppl
u dun wanna expose too much emotions in front of them
that ll make u lose control n wanna rely
but pls, dun keep everything to yorself
this ll make yor heart feel burdensome
i m always here to share, there is always someone for u to share
FACE YOUR LIFE HAPPILY
GD LUCK, SMILE=)
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