N.E.W..L.I.F.E.

啊!今天整理了宿舍房间

打打扫扫了大半天 累啊!!

不过房间总算是干净多了

自己扫地抹地、洗衣洗内裤、烫校服

没有家人在身边の日子 我得尽快适应了

不然真の会死在这个鬼宿舍里 (-.-)

不过幸好这里malaysian还蛮多の

还是会听到有人讲马来话

哈哈 忽然觉得马来话很亲切呢

虽然那些中国学生都听得一愣一愣の

哈哈

我房间两边的女生都是中国来的呀

今天忙翻了 明天去跟人家打打招呼 (^_^)

晚上の时候senior拿了旧书给我们

说让我们当参考 哈哈 真是好人

宿舍也很好几下

走出去就是MRT站 还有小贩中心和shoppingmall

明天要跟shin rong去看电影呢

恩 shin rong是吉隆坡人

美女哟~ 不过是banana一个

还有一个senior叫karjoon，槟城人

性格开朗，在宿舍里有很多朋友

恩 就这样 我的roommate

在学校里拍了些照片 看看

我本身好蛮喜欢南桥中学的拉

好好加油吧 (^____________^)

不过新剪的发型应该是过不了关了

哈哈

2.0.1.1

终于忙完了
这几天去了新学校、到宿舍去报到
开了银行户口、买了新电话、用了新号码
[EMMY：+65 9428 5521]
和爸爸坐MRT到处走
拿着地图开在陌生の城市里
这种感觉 还蛮特别の
两个人误打误撞了一整天
哈哈 很累
不过说真の 我很兴奋
终于 能够摆脱爸爸妈妈の控制了呢
自己搭公车、MRT，想去哪里就去哪里
自由 原来就是这种感觉
从来都没尝试过の 很新鲜 很刺激
可是 也因为这样の自由 让我更加自制
就是因为自由 人才容易暴走 容易堕落 容易被迷惑
而我 绝对不会
我对自己绝对有信心^_____^
离2011年还有2个小时30分

EMMY的2011年大目标：

=>好好充实自己，不要虚度时光!

=>加强英文，考到好成绩!!

=>好好过生活!!!

=>做自己!!!Be yourself!!!!

^___________^

A.D.D..O.I.L

EMMY铭心字句♥♥

1.不要因为感到伤心而否定了快乐的存在。
2.每个人都得为自己的所做所言付出相对的代价，任谁也躲不过。
3.不要明明快乐就在眼前，却因为感到悲伤而说它已离去了。
4.即使夜空再漆黑，也得相信星星会再次出现；不论前途多渺茫，也得相信希望会再次降临。
5.语言也是有魔力的，在不愉快时对自己说鼓励的话，结果或许会不同。
6.凡是都要忍三分、退三分，别被怒气从昏了头。
7.苦头尝尽了之后必定会得到甘甜的滋润。
8.曾经已经是过去式的了，最重要的是自己当下的决定与感受。
9.不劳而获的人，往往会因此而付出更大的代价。
10.最重要的一点：
一定要努力生活！别被别人看扁了！
^_______________________^

F.E.E.L.I.N.G.S

having strange feelings recently
sometimes it seems so simple
but in a sudden
it became complicated again
haiz...really dun understand wat i m thinking rite now
two days to go
i m leaving Msia on monday
the long long holiday had just ended lik tis
man its fast
the next time i look back
school is going to reopen
i hav faith in my optimistic atitude
life may not b as suffering n hectic as my parents said
but the point is
should i believe my own ABILITY?
i hav totally no idea...
many told me never compare myself to SG's
they r so NOT human (-.-)
if they were, then they ll b the most abnormal ones
the topic follows by a pile of examples n stories
swt, really exaggerated expressions...
but r SGs actually so scary?
to b frank, i hav no idea too
but i know all i need to do is to complete my task
with all i got n the best i can do
then there ll b no more regrets
i can handle wif the pressure, i hav confidence in it
but the time in Msia seems to flow away so rapidly
i hav to admit, i really dun bare to leave here
although many facts had taught me tat Msia is no gd place for me
no matter in my studies, or my life
but, still dun bare
afterall, i had lived on this piece of land for 15 years
having 15 years of relationship wif it
n no doubt i m a pure human
a human wif a warm heart, a human wif feelings
there's no way i can leave here in cold blood
but fact told me, i hav to
i hav to leave, give up everything i had here
n begin a brand new life in SG
simple, but complicated too
juz..the feeling i m having now
it is totally not a thing tat can b described wif words n languages
in other words, its indescribeable
man, shoot, why m i a human being?
a human who hav to deal wif these complicated thingy (-.-)
haiz, forget it, i m having a bigger problem here
my room is in chaos now
full wif books n CDs for me to put away bfore i leave for SG
the whole room of mess for me to clean up!
its tiring, n i m completely a lazy girl
no doubt, tis may b the toughest task on earth
arhhh~~!
anybody lending me a hand??
anybody?? (T.T)

R.E.S.U.L.T

got my UEC result today
full A's~^^yeah me
however i m not as excited as i expected frankly
but my nervous dad was so anxious about it
finally got relieved today
haha swt (-.-)
heard tat most of my frens got great results
n some "unexpected" ones too
really felt happy for those who got result tat is beyond their expectation
as for those who didnt
dun b too upset
u had oredi got into science class as u wished
UEC really doesnt mean everything
so dun b down
b happy~ok^^
i wonder when r we going to get our result slip
really need to get it bfor leaving
haha

V.A.C.A.T.I.O.N

ha~ finally back to Muar

home sweet home

went for a vacation wif my DEAR family this 3 days

although we didnt go abroad or any exciting places

we had an unforgettable memory indeed

i think i hav no more regrets in Msia now =)

memories in Port Dickson

went to I-city after that, pretty lights deco indeed

beautiful scenes at I-city

putrajaya IOI hotel

beautiful deco at Mid Valley

S.I.C.K

swt, the whole family dating wif bacteria recently
sob, but why not me?
i haven fallen sick since years ago man
thought tat my immune system has bcame lousier owing to my lowsy lifestyle(-.-)
however, tat was wat i think BEFORE
but when i saw their look
man, thank GOD i m not sick(-.-)
i bet tat it is sth tat u cant imagine
especially my eldest younger bro
man, he sneeze lik thunder
n even cough lik thunder
swt, i was so worried tat the roof ll blow up anytime(-.-)
n my second younger bro
haha, he looks so lik a polar out of artic
a fat round polar indeed(=P)
burried himself in a floor of pillows
n nvr came out from it for the whole day except for eating(-.-)
i think he is hibernating...
as for the youngest one
dude, tat is completely a 100% female chimpanzee
no doubt for it(-.-)
she got her fever till 37.5 degree celcius
but still jumping n leaping n hanging herself on the window
(-.-)have the same feeling wif me rite now?
except for her rosy cheek
i couldnt find a single part of hers tat shows tat she is having a fever
hoho, so?
one thundering
one hibernating
another jumping all around the house wif her gameboy in her hands
(-.-)yup, pity gameboy
i felt so sympathetic for it
i can hear it crying for help(=.=)
haha, this is my family (when they r sick)
conclusion, i was so GLAD tat i wasnt sick
THANK YOU GOD~

B.O.R.I.N.G

i ♥♥OLIVIA ONG《ain't no sunshine when he is gone》
i ♥♥SELENA GOMEZ《naturally》
i ♥♥林育群·小胖《未来的第一站》
i ♥♥顺子《dear friend》
i ♥♥徐佳莹《出口》
i ♥♥深白色2人组《鱼在水里哭》
i ♥♥HEBE《你太猖狂》
i ♥♥ADAM LAMBERT《whataya want from me》
i ♥♥蓝又时《孤单心事》
i ♥♥杨宗纬《对爱渴望》
i ♥♥AVRIL LAVIGNE《when you're gone》
i ♥♥郭静《我不想忘记你》
i ♥♥RIHANNA《love the way you lie》
i ♥♥戴佩妮《街角的祝福》
i ♥♥郭静《你的香气》
i ♥♥KELLY CLARKSON《because of you》
i ♥♥SARAH CONNOR《just one last dance》
i ♥♥LINKIN PARK《numb》
i ♥♥JJ&金莎《被风吹过的夏天》
i ♥♥梁文音《我不是你想象中那么坚强》
i ♥♥CHRISTINA AGUILERA《reflection》
i ♥♥RIHANNA《rude boy》

《鱼在水里哭》——深白色二人组

鱼在水里哭 我握着你的手说鱼在水里哭
你笑着说别傻了鱼并不会哭
它们是一种没有眼泪的动物
树在雨里哭 我抬头看着你说树在雨里哭
你温柔看着我说树并不会哭
它们是没有思想情感的植物

我突然的无助 没有眼泪的悲伤没有人清楚
只能呼吸着不被了解的孤独
一个人静静祈祷一切会结束

我矛盾着无助 很需要你能给我一点点保护
想对你说的话却总说不出
我变成了植物
没有人在哭你 摸着我的头说没有人在哭

我在哭 只是没有人在乎
......................................................................................................
《dear friend》——顺子

跟夏天才告别 转眼满地落叶
远远的 白云依旧无言
像我心里感觉 还有增无减
跟去年说再见 转眼又是冬天
才一年 看着世界变迁
有种沧海桑田 无常的感觉
oh~Friend 我对你的想念
此刻特别强烈 我们如此遥远

朋友孩子的脸 说着生命喜悦
如果说 我们依然相恋
说不定在眼前是另外情节

oh~Friend 我对你的想念
此刻特别强烈 这么多年
oh~Friend 我对你的想念
此刻特别强烈 如此遥远 Friend~

L.O.V.E

came back from my class trip recently

erm, kinda interesting to b frank

had a happy memory wif JM3REN for the last 3 days

yup, thats a beautiful fullstop

considered as a sweet ending for 2010 ba

^_________________^

happy always my dear frens

especially "大炮家族"

u guys really r the sweetest part of my memory in 2010

this photo, i ll always bring it by my side, sth lik 护身符

i bet it ll b vry effective for sure

haha

"our farewell might b sad

but it ll definitely follow by our next meet

soon, someday"

but, sth strange happened too on the trip

suddenly felt tat, being a human could oso b a scary thing

cos some feelings n emotions inside us

is scary, much scarier than any beast in this world

such as greed, envy, hatred, or even love

yup, no doubt, tat is the scariest thing in the whole universe

really dun understand why on earth should human hav these kinda emotion

L.O.V.E.

its lik magic, able to change anybody's mind at anytime

its lik poison, able to drown u in suffocating sweet feeling

its lik drug, able to make u forget all yor suffers n pain

but when u woke up, the nightmare begins

even so, u ll still continue to let yor body hav it

even u know tat u might not gonna wake up from it

even u know tat it might juz an illusion

but u juz cant stop it

except for keep on drowning, drowning, n drowning

its dangerous, n troublesome too

but y human still hav tis kinda feeling in it?

I HAV COMPLETELY NO IDEA ABOUT IT

i dislike troublesome things

especially those which are none of my business

so, logically, i should dislike love too

rite?rite?

CONFIDANTE

went out wif gd frens today
Zoe n Jessy
exchanged tis meeting wif two-whole-week of freedom
n a scold from my dad..T.T
haiz, pity grounded girl
but nvm, it do worth
really, didnt even thought about regreting for it
i juz lov the feeling when we talk to each other
about our dreams, our future,
our feelings, our thought, our opinion about life
this feeling, it's lik...kindergarten
we talk about everything we know
share our feelings wif everybody without any deceive
as if u were living in a naive n happy world
a world full of ppl u can trust
being wif them feels lik tis
the r indeed my confidante
no matter how time flows
it juz doesnt seem to change anything
we still feel the same towards one another
trustful, n concerning
sincerely hope tat tis frenship ll carry on even when i m in SG
a person who can really share yor most private feelings
n willing to accompany u
to go through every ups n downs in yor life
its extremely hard to find one in the real world now
but thank GOD i m the lucky one
i hav two of them=)
yup, confidante

NORMAL

its 9:41pm

5 hours n 49 minutes to go

till my class trip

i should b in bed now

but i juz cant sleep

i m not excited

nor anxious

neither agitated

its an indescribable feeling

this could b my last trip wif my frens in msia

when i thought about this fact

my happy mood to go to this trip seems to b gone

i really hope tat time could stop rite now

juz for a while

or even one second

i really need to calm down

I AM TOTALLY CONFUSED
what kinda feeling should i bring along during the trip?

happy?that is definitely not my true feeling

sad?that may influence the others too

angry?funny...why should i go to a trip wif an angry mood?

MAN its driving me nuts

though they might not all my best frens

but no doubt they r the one who accompanied me the most in 2010

i really dun bare to c them treat me peculiarly

i wanna b juz lik normal

juz lik school times

we talk. we laugh. we tease.

wif no other feeling

juz the simplest HAPPY SMILE

i wan everybody to b lik tat tomorrow

n the day after

every n every day in the future

thats the JM3REN class i know

ya. normal. thats what i wan

hope GOD this ll b a safe n sound trip

n wish HAPPINESS ll always b by their side

my dearest frens

HAPPY EVERYDAY~

放假的感觉

终于 有了真正像放假的感觉

今天一大早就和家人一起到99去打球

再去吃早餐 然后买了一大堆英文片

回到家里把客厅关到暗暗的+开冷气

看了一整天的戏

一部接一部

很废的生活 可是却让我有了放假的感觉

现在才发现 原来我是个十足十的懒胚子

即使没有旅行 没有度假

只要能窝在沙发里动也不动的渡过一整天

就能让我感到自己像在放假

哈哈

简直就是超幸福的

一路看一路笑个不停

这就是所谓的“打从骨子里懒到不行的大懒虫”吧

可是 家里的懒虫也不止我这一条

两个弟弟一人抱住一架laptop在打game

妹妹玩iphone

妈妈上网看超级星光大道

爸爸躲在角落里睡觉

在暗暗的客厅里 一家人渡过了一整天

原来被囚禁的生活 还不赖嘛

可惜 今晚爸爸的表弟结婚

不能去练功了

下礼拜也好多天不在

haiz

师父有个这样的徒弟应该迟早会气炸吧

呵呵

一天 又过去了

虚度光阴

又虚度了一天
今天 跟朋友去了secret吃午餐
再去戏院看了Rapunzel the Tangle Tale
照家规来说 我今天本来是不能出去的
但是一听见有个好朋友也要出来时
就不知死的跑去求妈妈 还被骂了一顿
最后终于能够出来了
那里知道 那个朋友却放了我飞机
这个假期里的第三次
恩 说真的
这件事我很在意
本来开开心心出门 心想可以见面了
哪里知道 又听到了同样的回答
很伤心 很失望 又有点生气
我知道 她不能赴约是因为不得已的原因
可是 就是没办法克制
就是 觉得难过
打从心里觉得难过
可是 就算是这样
如果她下次还在再约我出来的话
我想 我还是会重复相同的事情
苦苦的哀求我妈的吧
即使我会被骂 即使她很有可能会再放飞机
真的 不想再错过相处的机会了
在离开msia之前
只想和她再见一次面
10年的好朋友
不是说要就要 说有就有的
我想好好珍惜这段难得的友谊
仅此而已
话说回来 disney的戏还真不是盖的
看了15年都还不腻
Rapunzel女主角很漂亮 虽然男主角不是王子
戏里面的那只白马很帅 我好像爱上它了
哈哈 被朋友笑fall in love with a horse
那种感觉还蛮怪的
这整部戏很幽默
让原本难过的我开心不少
好想再看多一次 如果可以的话
也好希望这部戏
能让一些和我一样心情不好的人重拾笑容
废废的一天 过去了

废废日记

原来 写blog写得那么随心所欲

也是一件很幸福的事

可惜 我不是那种会花一整天来设计blog的人

因为我懒

我一直深信

简单的字语 能胜过一切

（不要怀疑，这只是借口）

没有很特别的心情

没有很特别的感受

只是 很想写blog

天天写 天天写 仅此而已

很废吧 我知道

因为现在的我正是个过着废废生活的废人

假期就是这么一回事

窗外的天空很蓝

我想 稍微整理一下

我的blog应该就能公诸于世了

现在的 太乱 太多秘密

恩 还想写什么呢

应该没了

今天天气很好

没上课真是浪费了

这种天气 加上老师的催眠曲

应该可以睡得很舒服

恩 就这样

我又要去睡了

废废日记1~结束~~

happy sweet 15

15岁的生日过了

天啊 超累的

虽然不错精彩

12点刚到就收到朋友们的祝福

那是我最开心的时光

虽然已经很累了

可是还是把信息都回了才睡觉

然后第二天大早

爸爸就带我去买裤买鞋

然后老朋友在pizza hut帮我庆祝

收到很多礼物

算是15年以来最多的一次了

什么pattern都有

然后被作弄

吹了5根怎么也吹不熄的蜡烛

也咬了1大根味道不怎么好的蜡烛

拍了照片

留了纪念

大闹pizza后看电影不成就去逛街

窝了2小时的cafe就回家

晚上又跟家人吃火锅

然后切第二个蛋糕

又拍照

很简单

却很幸福

可是

穿新鞋走到脚气泡

大太阳搞得我头又晕又痛

天 好久没那么累了

我的生日愿望啊

怎么没实现？？？

现在终于有得睡觉了

却又突然睡不下

=.=

明天 我一定要自己实现生日愿望

睡觉睡到不要起来

多幸福~

今年15岁的生日

很开心 很难忘 很精彩

可是最好的朋友们却都没能和我庆祝

有点惋惜

希望还有机会再约出来

说真的

现在挺想她们的

@_@

不知道下次见面的她们

会用什么样的心情来面对我呢？

那一夜

今夜 我的键盘 滴满了泪
对于转校这件事 我本来不想有太过激动的情绪的
只想淡淡地 潇洒地 离开中化 离开麻坡
这个我呆了整整15年的小镇
可惜 今晚 我破功了 第二次破功
都拜那可恶的“大炮”所赐
从一开始缓缓地流泪
情绪开始波动 失去控制
结果 就一发不可收拾了
怎么办
本来坚定的意识 似乎动摇了
隔着电脑荧幕 敲着湿漉漉的键盘 心里揪痛着
有的说 虽然不舍 但要我我好好加油
有的说 接下来的日子 不知怎么面对我
有的说 要我一定要记住他 不然一定杀了我
有的说 我是永远的初三仁 要开开心心的来 开开心心地走
看见这些 我的心情很沉重 很复杂
我 真的能够舍得丢下她们 丢下这里 离开吗？
我 真的能够不回头的 一味为自己的未来努力奋斗吗？
我 真的能够就为了完成父母的心愿 抛弃我在这里的所有吗？
不知道 很乱 很乱
我真的 忍受不了
因为自己自私的离去 而让那么爱我的多人伤心流泪
我的朋友 我的同志 还有大炮家族
我走了 他们 该怎么办？
就在这崩溃的边缘 忽然有一句活 闯入脑里
没有预警的 却忽然点醒了我
“Once you hav made up yor mind doing something
put in all yor effort until you achieve the goal
promise me dont do things half way
all the best...”
这 是我第一个知道这件事的朋友 给予我的忠告
我答应了他 既然我选择了相信自己的父母
那我一定会咬紧牙关坚持下去 完成自己的梦想
并克服所有的困难和挑战 绝对不会半途而废
可是 为什么 就在这关键的起跑点上
我却好像输掉了自己所有的信心呢？
这种感觉很空虚。。。
之后 我想了很久
我 为什么要感到伤心呢？
我 为什么要把最后的离别 搞得那么难堪呢？
为什么就不能开开心心的 带着笑容离开呢？
严格说起来 其实 我是个很幸运的人
不论在小学 或是中学
我都遇到了与自己志同道合的朋友
和我分享心事 和我同进退
陪我哭 陪我笑 陪我疯 陪我玩
在失落的时候安慰我 给我鼓励
在开心的时候也不忘作弄我 敲我的钱
这种朋友 这种友情 要上哪里去找呢？
如此珍贵 而我 却要因为一个小小的离别
而把它草草的用眼泪结束了吗？
我们 从来都没有结束过 也不会有结束的一天
只要大家都还在世上 这份友谊 都将继续下去
每一天 每一分 每一秒
即使离别之后 大家见面的机会变少了 感情也会变淡
但 我还是希望这段友情能够用欢笑声来延续
我们的友谊 绝对不能因为一个离别而断送了
没有见面 并不代表不思念
没有联络 并不代表不关心、不在乎
离我到新加坡去的日子 还有两个月的时光
所以 我真的很诚心的希望
大家能够一起快乐的 轻松的 共度这短短的2个月
只要好好珍惜 时间长不长 不重要
创造一段属于我们的美好回忆 那才是最重要的
或许 转校了之后 生活会变得更加辛苦
面对的环境 课业 同学 都会伴随着压力
但我知道 我一定能够撑下去的
因为这段友谊 因为这段记忆
每当我回想起这些欢乐的时光时
就会觉得生命是可期待 是充满希望的
它 会成为我克服压力的强心剂
所以 不要再哭泣了
2个月 一定要创造2个月美好的回忆
我们的缘分并没有尽
我们的感情也没有变
虽然还不知道未来自己是否还有机会再回来
可是我在这个小镇10年来的点点滴滴
将永远 与我同在
友谊万岁！

homestay

went for a HOMESTAY trip the last few days
in some kinda village area..called KAMPUNG LENGA
WOW...tats all i can say
i ve been imagining the fun n enjoyable activities i gonna hav during tis trip
but unfortunately
it all turn up to b out of expectation
the first thing i did when i reached our "house"
was having a war wif the "cockroaches army"==
man...just when i picked up a dirty cloth from the basin
a whole bunch of cockroaches came crawling out of it
it wasnt that scary to b frank
but the screams n shouts behind me was driving me deaf
then....no choice....
i took my slippers n fought wif them
huew~luckily they didnt fly all over the house
n thank GOD that our foster mum had oredi gone out to work
or not? i really cant imagine wat ll happen to that house...
that was the first surprise
then we started cleaning the house
it wasnt hard to find FAECES n unknown black sticky objects
n the smell of cockroaches is indeed stinky dude
a whole room of "fragrance"!!!
WOW...i admit i dare not sleep in that room
so?we all..4 girls...slept in a tiny room
i slept on the floor==
haiz...pity me...
another surprise...as we forgotten to switch off the light
someones hp had been stolen
right from the opened window....in the middle of the nite..
n all of us didnt notice about it==
i hav to say that the thieves here hav indeed great skills of stealing
then...dun hav the mood to visit anymore
it had been boring tat 2 days
enjoy a little in the mee siput factory
nothing else
felt lik wasting two whole days living in kampung by paying RM80
==swt...not totally meaningless...but most of it were...
improved my malay speaking though
does it consider as a benifit for RM80?
who knows...

graduation day

finally graduated today
tat means i hav completed my junior course
yeh me~!
but didnt feel lik having any strong emotions
the result is quite shocking though
i thought tat my busy life must hav effected my studies
unprepared tests...day dreaming the whole year...
thank GOD
to be frank
its not the ranking that i m worrying about
it is the prize money $$$
though it is getting lesser n lesser year after year
but it is still a benifit afterall
n i m really really lack of money too
no doubt
i m a vry poor person..=P
happy graduation day to all
n hope that we ll b friends forever
though we might not b in the same class next year
the next thing to worry about
"will this gonna b my one n only graduation day in CHUNG HWA??"

life after pressure

finished my exam
completed my sec3 lessons
i should be honeymoon-ing now
but unfortunately, i found it not
papa says my english has totally no improvement since secondary
mummy says my english sucks
==that really hurts
but i know it is true
so, i think i should work much more harder on it
n no more "lah,leh, wor,ma" in speaking anymore
man, found it really hard to do it
but i shall try, n i must
since my younger bro had already got his ASEAN merit to singapore
i hav to study more conscientiously for scholarships too
afterall, i should not let my parents n grandma down
n i had oso made a promise wif a fren to continue our studies in singapore next year
hence, i shall keep my promises
haha, what a reliable person i am==
singapore, is my last target this year
to get it or not, it depends on me
n my answer is a definite, "YES"
unconsiderable, i must
wow, this is my first time to be so serious
sincerely hope that it will keep on burning till the last minute of 2010
wish me luck~

爱惜自己

最近 朋友吵架了
不干我的事 我无权干涉
可是不经意的 会有些感触
我不知道她们是因为什么事而吵架
也不知道这误会有多深
错在于谁 抑或是谁被排挤了
可是当我听到这件事时 我吓了一跳
本来还以为 她们会戴着面具和平的走带最后的
谁知 我还是错了
误会 总是会趁着当事人不注意的时候悄悄介入
然后再等待时机 点燃
就跟当时一样 那么相像
小学也是 中学也是
现在吵架的
一个是倾听我心事的朋友
一个是我认识了7年的老友
而我 是个置身事外的旁观者
没有权利发言 没有资格干涉
但 我还是会希望她们能和好
经过风浪的一对朋友
友情总是会更坚固 更信任对方
感情也会更上一层楼
但 如果 真的 不如人意了
也并不完全是一件坏事
错过 是为了让自己遇到更好的
或许对的人还没出现
或许和自己心灵相通的朋友就在身边
只是自己还没发觉到
总之 不管结果是如何
请爱惜自己
恶言 会让自己丑陋
恶行 会让自己显得低贱
<仅此·共勉之>

怪梦

昨晚做了个很奇怪的梦
醒来 很累
这场梦 真的很匪夷所思
根本就不管我的事
但我却做了别人的梦
看来周公 昨晚找错人了
唉 被怪梦缠了一晚
现在 还是很累
忽然很想写小说
把这些日子以来经历的事情全写下来
可是我知道 现在的我没有这个时间 也没有这个精力
不过 我知道我会写的
哪知时间的问题罢了
写好了 应该会投明年的中化文学奖
然后拿奖金$$$
哈哈 但愿吧
现在还是加油准备考试的好
加油

我完了

finally got through the suffering week ler
OMG...indeed unbelieveable
recall those days was so torturing
it feels lik i had been through hell n came alive again
erm....okey...mayb a bit exaggerated
haHA
but those r really tough days
anyway
i have done my best n did all i can
for now...its no use to worry about unnecessary things ler
just keep on hoping on GODS
n wish tat the final result will not b so disappointing ba^^
another thing....i think i have to adjust myself back to normal life too
i am still remianing in the exam mode now
my room is still full of textbooks n notes
n i still cant go to bed even its midnite
just lik i oways do during exams
revise at nite till dawn n took some nap in the afternoon
man...my physicological clock is in an enormous mess
==''''
exams really comes wif much influnces
thats undoubted
for my next week...its PMR
HA.ha.HA.ha.HA.ha.....
feel lik i m an exam robot now
two weeks continuously exams
wow....i am so impressed by myself
HAIZ....
my honeymoon before final UEC is ruined...T.T
my SEJARAH is nearly 0% downloaded
my BM is lingering between PASS n FAIL
my GEOGRAFI still need much much more practise
OMG....
I AM SOOOOOO DEAD!

自我安慰

刚刚去吃了dim sum
不知道是不是鬼上身
刚刚的我拼命吃 拼命吃
吃到我都有点难以置信
好像只要这样一直吃
就能把心中的恐惧 不安 不解 疑惑
这些烦人的心情全一并吃下去
很可惜 它们并没有消失
而我的胃却快撑爆了
看来 吃是永远无法解决烦恼的
要靠自己了
加油。。。

饥饿游戏

just finished reading this novel
really,its great
strongly introduced^^
this story makes me wonder
how far can a human's imagination actually stretch?
its just like our imagination n peculiar thinking doesnt really have an end
since the first time i fell into this story till now
it really shocked me
i had never thought about such place or such life in my entire life bfor
or even what will human actually do in order to survive
but this book did it
n undoubtedly
THIS AUTHOR IS INDEED AMAZING
i really cant imagine how life could go on under such dominance
maybe it is bcos our actual life is too luxury sometimes
that makes us blind of survival
what if one day our world bcom just like the one in this story
being conquered by such lunatic tyrant
living a life that we never imagined bfor
poor...sickness....hunger.....
then for the sack of survive
we are forced to take part in some kinda ridiculous game
that will be sacrificed at anytime
just to please some BEAST living luxuriously in the city
at their sight
THIS IS ONLY A SIMPLE GAME
for the few weeks
you just need to sit in front of the tv
watching 24 puppets fighting in a cage
and enjoy the blood n massacre
but to the poors
THIS IS THE ONLY CHANCE
EACH OF THEM HAVE ONLY 0.001% TO SURVIVE
IN ORDER TO REACH THAT
U HAVE TO KILL
U HAVE TO FIGHT
U HAVE TO BETRAY
NO MATTER YOUR FRIENDS
OR YOUR ENEMY
EVEN YOUR SIBLINGS
KILL WHATEVER YOU SEE
DO WHATEVER YOU CAN
TILL THE VERY END....
"THERE IS ONLY ONE SURVIVER"
i know
it sounds bloody
but this book really reveals much truth
love it
hope that u all could try it too
u will never regret^^
believe me~haHA

What I Want

life's getting torturing these days
exams are around the corners
waiting right in front of me
feeling a bit scared right now
i ve never face this kinda feeling bfor
NOT ONCE
its juz lik
i dun hav any confidence in myself
i m not sure whether i can bring up this burden
i dunno if i can withstand through the last few months...
time really flies
we hav to admit it
the day we are playing n shopping
celebrating birthdays
watching movie
buying novels shops to shops
n the other day
we are facing exams
REALLY BIG EXAMS
i hate this feeling
i hate excessive stress
i dun wanna b tied up by exams or homework n stuff lik that
i lik to b free
living a life with less tension n much much freedom
THAT'S LIFE
i dun understand
since we hav only a few ten years to live
why people always prefer to spend it hecticly?
why must they always rush through their lives?
why cant they juz sit down n relax n enjoy how llife should b?
mayb i am too IGNORANT to know it
but i m certain of one thing
I DUN LIK BEING TIED UP
IT IS REALLY ANNOYING + FRUSTRATING
two more months to go
hope that i am able to get back my confidence to face those challenging task
n also hope that i can cheer up as soon as possible
wish me luck~=D

I hate Myself

好久没上来了
是因为生活太忙碌
还是精神太劳累
我不知道 有差吗？
最近心情不怎么好
都不知道是老天在作祟 还是我自作孽
麻烦的事老是解决不完
那又能怎样？
难道就大喊一句“I cant stand it anymore”
然后丢下一切自甘堕落吗？
我不能 更不想 太不负责任了
但 最近却常常这样想
这样的我 肯定很惹人厌
因为 连我自己都开始讨厌这样的自己
没理想 没报负 只想倒头睡 永远不要醒来
我恨这样的自己！
就快了 我安慰自己
如果这点小失败都承受不起
那我以后 要怎么办？
我不要做脆弱的牙签
我不要做易碎的玻璃
我不想 连自己都照顾不好
看回blog里的一些post
真想把它们都删掉
它们 让我很泄气
开心起来吧 我可以的
我可以的。。。

add oil ba

really hav to admit

exams are really around the corner now

the point is

these are big exams man~

PMR...Sec 3 UEC...Final Exam...

cant play around now

my dad is quite strict nowadays

that really makes me feel stressed

i used to hav no worries n tension about exams in the past

but now

i m not so sure about it anymore

the busy school life really makes me feel annoyed

extra thick text books n class tests n blah blah blah

i found something weird about myself recently

the third exam hav juz past

n all the class testing n extra homework stopped for a sudden

my busy school life suddenly become so leisure

n i suddenly hav so many extra time to do sth i really wanted to do since the first day of 2010

reading novels

watching TV

exploring facebook n blogs for hours

this feeling...it should b lik in heaven

but i m feeling really peculiar rite now

AND I DUNNO WHY

since when leisure has became so alien to me?

its juz lik i hav not stopped busying since the beginning till now

n when i finally hav the time to relax myself

i found that i hav oredi blended into the busy life

haHA

indeed ironic

how yearn i m for school holidays in the past

how desirous i m about having a small break during the schooling days

but now

i feel nothing

no happiness

nor anxiety neither

really hoped that i could juz sleep for the rest of my life

n never wake up again

but I KNOW I CANT

bcos these r my responsibilities

i hav to accomplish for the sake of myself

my future...my family members...my teacher...etc.

how many decades exactly do we really hav in a lifetime?

work hard ba~you hav only one chance to live~

wish me luck

wish you all the best too^^

我的自由

this kinda feeling

its suffocating

really feel lik i m not myself anymore

shuttling between me n tis peculiar feeling

its annoying

its frustrating

its irritating

really feels lik i cant stand it anymore

let me alone

give me a break

please

although i know tis is not the best timing

2 more months

i m countdowning

60 more days

1440 more hours

86400more minutes

to my freedom....

absolutely...freedom...

我不是笨蛋XD

lolz....

kena scolded by a fren

oways calls me "stupiak"...囧

(u should know who tis fren is liao hor~)

haiz

actually i m not tat desperate about ppl around me lah

i know i still hav true fren

who care for me truely lik u guys

as well as some in CHHS

but i juz cant resist my annoyance towards those faking ppl

though they r indeed no harm to me

n tats is not my business either

haha

juz my conscience who seems desperate ba..=D

(p/s:dont doubt~u oways hug the Buddha's leg~i hug Jesus'^^)

继续生活

found somthing interesting in other's blog

[ 我发现今年我心态上转变了很多

换做以前的我我会很怕一个人

怕一个人下课

怕一个人出门

怕一个人看电影

可是今年我突然发现

其实一个人没有什么不好啊

没有必要勉强自己去加入完全没有兴趣的话题

没有我想要谈的

就静静地坐在位子上做什么都好

有人说"你最近变到很静哦~"

我笑"有吗?" ]

indeed the same situation

happening on me

but i think tat nobody really noticed about it ba

though i still smile

though i still joke

its different now

some kind of 'annoyed' i think

in front if those faking things

but it has became numb in me now

it seems normal

its omost everywhere

the WORLD is not a WORLD anymore without these things

so accept it ba

its a general fact now

^^

recently

haHA

never give yorself too much hope if u dun wanna get hurt

tats wat i oways believe in

no matter in the past or now

the future?

i dunno

i wonder~

闷啊

feeling bored today

the school makes me yawn

the textbooks make me yawn

even the weather makes me feel sleepy too

haiz

hav a syarahan today

i tried to make myself relax

but i failed

i ve said the wrong script from the very beginning

=p =p =p =p =p

forget it

hope tat the teacher wont figure it out

haHA //praying...//

i hav to mention

it was INDEED an incident

accidentally fell into sleep yesterday

at about 8 something at nite

without even a sign

KEKKO

woke up at 5am today

with my homework undone

karangan unwritten

n a class test even without revision

clap clap //congratz....// lolz

almost late for school today

okey i admit

i m ''a few'' minutes late today

but luckily the teacher is busy enough to ignore me

haHA

din bring textbook to school today either

feeling lik daydreaming the whole day

n went through everything wif my eyes half closed

hardly to imagine how i gave my syarahan rite?

haHA

but i did it

yeah me

//lolz....//

你不懂我

"u dont know me~nobody knows me~"

i often heard tat from my frens these days

even myself did say tat

but

if we think it in an another way

do we understand our frens too?

do we really know everything about them

or wat r they thinking in their mind every moment?

NO....we dont

mayb the answer is hurting

but its the truth

an unsuspectable fact

everybody has their own secret in their heart

which is unreachable by anybody else except for themselves

nobody ll b able to tell all their secrets to a person without preservation

its impossible for a human

cos we...as humans...

hav too much cheating n faking around us

its not tat we dont trust our frens at all

but juz a natural protection of ourselves

so...how could we expect somebody else to know us throughly

without understanding them well?

dun b so greedy

if we hav a really good fren around us now

we should cherish him/her

he/she mayb dun understand us as well as we expected

but undoubtly

he/she is the only person who you can share yor emotion wif

cherish them

dun let them down juz bcos of yor own greed

everybody were juz a passer-by in yor life

YOU r the main character

YOU own yor life

dun let OTHERS conquer yor mind

RESPECT yor own idea

LIVE YOR LIFE

..................................................................................

an advice for a fren^^

梦游

今天 生物老师在上课时讲到了梦游

她说梦游可能是一个人在长期的压力下

因没有时间去做想做的事时而只好在睡眠中去进行
但我们却不由有任何的感觉或意识

也就是说

只要到了夜晚

我们的潜意识就会掌控我们的身体

这副空虚的躯壳

说到这里 我有点起毛了

强调一下 是“有点”哦

因为 更惊悚的在后头

过后 她又微笑着吐吐舌说

“所以啊~现在的我们可能都只是在做着一场梦，

而真正的‘自己’并没有感觉。

等到真正的‘自己’醒来时，

才忽然发现，这一切一切只不过是一场梦。”

说到这里 我很佩服自己没有昏倒

我...我是指“现在”的我...

真的只是个潜意识吗？

而当那个“真正”的我醒来时，

我，真的就会这样消失吗？

在这班上，在这世上的每个人，

都只是在梦游着吗？

一个个...虚无而缥缈的潜意识吗？

很多疑问 却得不到解答

那时的我慌了

我一直以来认为的，活生生的“自己”，

原来一直以来都不是“真正的自己”...

那种感觉真的很难以形容

“所以，在这世上真的有人能在病床上一动也不动的，

就过完他的一整生咯~”

这是她说的

但过后，她又补充

“就算是这样，我们还是能凭着自己的意识，

制服潜意识，而改变或主宰自己的梦。

在梦里头，一切都是合理的。”

一切都是合理的？

用意识制服潜意识？

那...该多难啊

而...如果...假如...

我真的只是个“潜意识”的话

那...我是否也会在那一天...

被那“真正的自己”的潜意识给制服而取代了呢？

那“我”...真会这样就消失了吗？

“我”...真的只属于夜晚吗？

太多疑问 得不到解答

只能一再的

在我的“梦中”

徘徊

山河

haiz

haiz

haiz

holiday is really a major annoyence

lolz.....really boring ar~~!

not feeling quite well either

haHA~but went to SANGA for gathering last nite

really enjoyed it vry much

the steamboat last nite was quite tasty too

fuew~~~

ate endlessly last nite

haHA~felt lik the tummy was gonna burst

ate happily...talked happily...laughed happily

haHA~felt lik so inmate

though we hav not seen one another for some time

thanks to EMERSON n his unstopable MOUTH

lol...damn evil~

haHA~n funny too~

KL really hav made him a different person i think

haHA~

no doubt for it

erm.....

tis gathering is actually organized by TAT PERSON

lol...but i m getting used to it oredi

afterall...we still meet each other everyday

in the same class

but never thought tat the feeling ll b so...

strange?i think

well...juz act normally

tats all i can do~

feuw~~~^^

想了很多

thought about many things these days

thanks to the boring holidays==

hav nothing to do

though i noe i hav a big pile of work waiting for me

but....

juz dun hav the mood to care about tat

wat a lazy person i m huh~

laid on my bed

staring at the spinning fan

my soul seems to b coming out from my body

n roam aimlessly in the air

as if its gonna vanish in the next second

n i ve thought

wat if...i m too vanish

totally disappear in tis world

in tis universe

n by then

there wont b a person called EMMY in everybody's mind

neither my family

my fren

or the person i cared about

kinda abstract rite?

its really hard to imagine if i m no longer in tis world

if it really happens

then...who ll i b?

where ll i b?

what ll i b?

in conclusion...

i really found tat i dun noe myself

neither my mind did

who exactly am i?

is it tat necessary for me to live

in tis changing world?

wat if...i really vanished suddenly

it wont change anything rite?

everybody ll b acting juz lik normal

laugh as usual

talk as usual

juz..there is no more EMMY

no influnce...i think

haHA

wat am i thinking

looks lik i m really going nuts

@_@

救命

tis is my second post in the same day
lolz...found tat i m really unsuitable for hoidays
its driving me nuts
first msn..pps..fb...
n now back to blog again
haHA, really sweat d
why cant juz time flow juz lik school days
its really torturing now
except for sleeping
is internet
as for tat big pile of textbooks
i ll juz leave it to the last few days
its too annoying to see them now
haiz
feel tat the atmosphere is really suffocating at home
din talk to her for the whole day
or if i say
i din even see her the whole day
under the same roof!
haiz
haiz
haiz
i m gonna die soon if she continues to b lik tis
man...S.O.S...who's gonna save me???

破碎了

today,i scolded her

the person who i loved......

in the past

i obeyed every of her decisions

included those hurting ones

i can still remember tat nite clearly

the sound she opened her room door

shouted n quarreled wif tat man

n left

onli the sound of anger tat sped off the house

still resounding in my nightmares

n tat moment

i m in my room

sitting in the corner

doing nothing

not because i dont

is because i cant

i cant do anything to stop her leaving

the onli thing, is cry

i din sleep tat night

it is too quiet for me to sleep

its dark

my soul has been soaking in tears the whole nite

n now, so do i

when, when ll she change tat self-centred beheviour of hers?

when ll she stopped treating herself lik tat?

when ll she start to lov herself more than others?

i m furious

n tats why, i lost control

tat feeling is really indescribable

watching the person u loved treating herself lik tat

but u cant do nothing

except for keeping quiet

n sit in the corner

crying on yor own

tis is the second time

but she ll never know

i really hoped tat the third time ll never happen

tat feeling of scolding her is really bad

please

my heart is bleeding

please

我并不是你想象中那么勇敢

rain kept pouring since morning
n the YOU in facebook
r too soaked n vagued
the memories about YOU kept fading in mind
but in the next moment
it became clear again
that's YOU
no doubt it is
but sorry
i dun know you anymore
that voice of yours in the phone
is too unfamiliar to me
n so too the YOU in the photo
since when...did your smile become so matured
since when...did your face become so slim
n since when...did your side r full of...STRANGERS
i found out that
the YOU now is really too far for me
"S.O.R.R.Y"
that's all i can say
and another thing
"Happy Birthday"^^
mayb u ll not hear this blessing of mine
but still
i truely hope that god ll bring happiness to your side
n this pair of 'sunny dolls'
hope that they ll get rid of all your tears through the rain
n bring the most delighting weathers to YOU
everyday in your life
SORRY·HAPPY BIRTHDAY

《许诺》

그대곁에 없어도

即使不在你的身邊

그대뒤에 있어요

我還是會站在你的身後

외로운 그림자되어

形單影隻的你

돌아보고 싶어도

即使心中再是不忍

돌아봐선 안돼요

你也不可以回轉頭

한뼘행복마저 줄 수 없는날 피하세요

躲開我這不能給你幸福的人吧

한걸음 두걸음

一步 兩步 也好

나보다더 조금 서둘러 걸어가요

請你先离我而去吧

나의 두손이 또 나의 두발이

我的雙手 還有雙腳

그대길을 막지않게

小心不要被他們纏住

또다시 태어나는 그날엔

如果還有來生

하늘이 허락하길 바래요

希望上天能成全我們

우리의 이뤄질수없었던 사랑을..

有緣無份的愛情

하늘아 내사랑을 가려줘

上天啊，請成全我們的愛情吧

바람아 내아픔을 날려줘

風兒啊，請吹散我們的傷痛吧

그대가 내 눈물을 모르게 부탁해.

不要讓他發現我流著淚

부탁해

求你了

玩伴

今天 无意间看见了一篇心情录

它 是这样写的

忽然好想有人回答我许多的问题

我的那个玩伴，不见那么久，我们会生疏吗？

你找到了新的玩伴？

抑或和我一样，过着宅男一般的生活？

那时候天总是很蓝

日子总过得太慢

我们总说毕业遥遥无期

转眼就分隔两地

同桌的你，近来还好吗。。。。。。。

看了这片心情录之后

不知为何 感触特别多

或许 是因为

在忙碌得令人窒息的生活中

朋友

已经变得不再像以前那般重要
或许 是因为

多年不见的她

已静悄悄的 一点 一点的

被生活中忙不完的琐事给取代

但 我很清楚的知道

在我心里 他们 仍然非常重要

不论是平日都能见到的朋友

或是 她

那块不能磨灭的伤·痛

毋容置疑

但 近来

我却发现我们越来越疏远

见面的时间变得少了

话题 也慢慢的 被抽离了

我不要

我真的不要

我不要当某一天回过头时

身边的那个座位 是空的

我不要当毕业那天到来时

我的回忆里

朋友这个字 是虚无的

我不要

但生活却也不妥协

压力 琐事 烦恼 考试

样样都令人透不过气

样样都那么的 令人讨厌

或许

在某一天 某一个地方里

我已经开始厌倦了生活吧

厌倦了

这本应该充满欢笑与回忆的

中学生活

输了

went for a national taekwondo match last 2 days
at KL Cheras Badminton Stadium...damn big place==
haiz..
kinda tired now...
din hav much rest...
twelve person squeezing in a tiny room
then hav 2 wake up b4 6 next morning...
man...i bet no one hav slept tat nite...
then leh...
found out tat my match is at noon...
cant sleep wif my contact either...
haiz...torturing arrrrrr>.<
but at least i hav recognized some experienced fren
kept practising kicking at the back stage...
then watched them sparing in the arena...
erm...hav 2 admit...its really enjoying....
othough i hav lost at the final 8....>.<
man...dunno wat luck is tis tat i hav..
lost 2 an indian 2 years ago...
then lost 2 a malay tis time pulak...
the point is...they r both from Kedah...same coach i think
man......I HATE KEDAH!!!!
lost in the last round 2 semi-final...
really embarassing..n hurting 2...
but really not much ppl got a medal tis time....
for some reason....
haiz....
next target...
August Muar Taekwondo match
(+oil..........>.<)

经典

红队队长们的蓝色迷你裤性感照~~~

纯属娱乐~~^^

运动会

it is anual sports day last 2 days
indeed tiring
hot sun....torturing weather...
man...
cant even sense a single gust of wind tat day..
luckily we stilll hav tents & the big hall
onot i think we ll b meeting at heaven rite now>.<
got a sun burn...as usual
got 2 medals too...for discus & shot put
kinda satisfied with tat
afterall...i m not a genius at sports
but i m feeling extremely happy
cos our house hav got the champion tis year
for the first time since i studied in chhs
haha...really enjoying it
especially during cheering 4 the team
damn high man
everybody is shouting lik mads>.<
haha...for sure... i ve got an indeed serius sorethroat
(cos i m the madest one)haha...>.<
tis experience is quite unforgettable for me
but...i think i would not hav a chance 2 take part in it anymore
dunno why...juz lik having tis kind of strange feeling
haiz...thought about it many times
but still din come 2 a perfect conclusion...
nevermind...it's still hav a long way 2 go...
mayb i should plan myself for now first
let the future step aside
cos i noe...the 'me' rite now..
is really happy in enjoying life...
tat's enough...
the sport's day tis year really taught me a lot...
indeed meaningful...
thanks a lot....
n again...
congrats 2 all red house member!
forever champion!!!

坏人

世上的所有事情
都有其好与坏两面
当你看见它的好时，
它并非是对的
就如当你看见它的坏时，
它并非是错的
但
有时还真会觉得
好人 并非一定是快乐的
扮演个坏人
至少 不会受到外人狭义的道德局限
这样一来
或许
越多的憎恨
越多的责骂
越多的厌恶
会使我的心
过得更坦荡 更自由些吧

累

今天，好累。
不是单单天气热或留校留到四五点的那种累
而是，心灵上的那种，无法言语的，累。
或许，打从一开始的犹豫不决，
一直到现在终于决定放弃的这段过程，
真的耗了我不少的心力吧!
挣扎过
坚持过
怀疑过
也消沉过
现在，终于轮到放弃了。
或许，之间的拉锯我还是没法完全突破。
但，不管以后发生任何事，
真希望，我这颗好不容易定下的心，
能坚持下去。
即使如此，我不快乐。

妥协

another busy week....lolz...
really cant imagine how am i going 2 survive through tis year
those endless class tests are driving me nuts
then still hav a big pile of things 2 worry about
though its unimportant
n i really dun understand what m i worrying
lolz.....oways thinking about unnessesary trouble
damn busybody.....>.<
haiz...
then leh...kept daydreaming the whole week in class
didnt even bother wat the teachers r nagging about
but at least...i figured something out
or should i say...i finally set myself free
sometimes things really happens beyond our expectation
n there is nothing we can do to stop nor prevent it
but...at least
we can learn to accept instead of getting rid of it
cos when things happen...it happened
its nothing in our control
so...besides of making ourselves depress
y cant we juz let it b a part of our life?
life should b full of unpredictable unknowns n challanges rite?
betrayings....cheatings....liers....
n getting used 2 these earlier is the best way of protection
at least u hav yor own way 2 overcome it
instead of letting it 2 interupt u....
why not juz set urself free
instead of prisoning urself in hatred n jealousy....
negative thinking is not all i hav
tats wat i learned in class...(...?)
all rite...i admit....is in daydreaming....
haHA
a fren of mine wrote it
(on her desk...>.<)
''IF SHE IS A BETTER CHOICE THAN I AM,
I WILL TOLERATE''
n...i ll accept it....

一个星期过去了

a week juz went off since school reopen
lik a gust of wind
passed by lik a stranger
i din even noticed about it
haiz...
looks lik i really nid a rest now
really damn busy tis week
at least 2~3 class tests everyday
then still got forum script
man...the informations r reaching the ceiling now
then still hav music advertisement lah
sports day oso coming lah
euhhh...n...the point is...
i cant spot any holidays in tis month
mention it again
is THE WHOLE MONTH..!!!
man...how am i going 2 survive through tis
wuwu...looks lik i m going 2 book a grave b4 the world ends
life is getting crazier now
n tis 'lucky' me got a sit at the most spectative place in class
everything i did all kena sap by my teacher
then leh oso cant c the black board properly
the point is...the rubbish dum is onli in the front...
rite in front of me...>.<
wuwu...when is the teacher gonna ur change place again??
i dun wanna sit on tis heng sit lahhhhh~

假期过了

school is gonna reopen soon
wat a short holiday
kinda meaningless i think
though i know holiday is for us student 2 rest n relax
(really???)
mayb it's bcos of my personality gua
dun prefer relaxing life so much
juz feel tat time is so...wasted
mayb busy life is a better choice
at least...4 me
life which is full wif pressure n tension
ll b a greater driving force 4 me 2 study n cherish my time
but not sitting there n watching at the idiot box 4 the whole day
(tats wat my DEAR papa said...)
haiz...cant my life b more...'happy go lucky'?
juz ik my younger bro
even the sky falls oso non of his business
dun hav 2 worry about anything
wat a paradise...but i think i dun deserve it lol
i n think tat i dun wanna b it too...>.<
haha... juz heard it from a fren tat the end of the world is coming soon
b frank wif tat...i m not so worried if the end really arrived
i ll b happier instead of tat
us human is the one who destroy the earth
n it SHOULD b us who deserve the punishment
end of the world?
is it tat serious?
i dunno... mayb we all ll truely realised it when tat day really come
so..4 now
juz cherish ur time n do wat wo could do
try 2 enrich everyday tat we go through
let ur life b more meaningful
tats wat i mean>.<
so...+u lol...
but still...happy everyday...^^

白痴

事情是这样的
去年，我有两个朋友因为报告而闹得不太愉快。
然后绝交了。
说真的，那位坚持要绝交的朋友，真的让我吓了一跳。
她本是个脾气好、尽量顺别人意、避免冲突的女生。
然而，在这件事上，她很固执。
想必是生气了吧！
但，我敢确定，她不是个会为了报告那种小误会而发脾气的人。
甚至还绝交了。
看来，那一定就是另一位朋友的问题了。
.........................................................................................................
今天，我在facebook上看见了这位女生的留言。
写着她不再相信友情，却又要求着解释什么的
在看见那留言时，说真的，我笑了。
但，心里更多的是羡慕。
她，好勇敢。
曾经，我也像她这样，因为无缘无故的绝交而感到不服气、绝望。
但，我却放任它过去。
而她，没有。
她不但毫不掩饰的将事情公诸于世，
还在所有人面前请求了她的原谅。
她，真的好勇敢。
还记得，留言中，有一句话。
‘在facebook上，我们不是朋友，因为我没有勇气’
这句话，让我想起了，‘他’
曾经在facebook上，我看见了‘他’多少次
犹豫、害怕、彷徨，全一拥而上
但，更多的，还是喜悦
为什么我会开心呢？
说真的，我自己也不知道
或许，是我终于有了能够问她原因的机会
或许，是我还奢望能再作朋友也说不定
然而，我至今都没有按下'add as friend’那粒钮
这应该就是她所说的没有勇气吧！
哈哈...曾经还傻得为facebook上的‘他’哭了
现在回想起来，我还真是白痴
但，若事情再重来，我想，我还是会哭吧
还是很痛心地，很痛心地哭
唉，emmy啊emmy，你还真是没出息！
事情过了那么久，人家的心清一清，理一理，
又恢复了那开心又无忧无虑的生活
却只有你傻傻的在原地等着
你，到底还在盼着什么呢？
盼着那个，狠狠的将回忆撕碎，再洒在你脸上的‘他’吗？
还是那个，扮哭吓你，却又一次又一次理直气壮的欺骗你的‘他’呢？
傻瓜！emmy！你是白痴吗？
你是白痴吗？
很抱歉
我得告诉你
在‘他’面前
我的确是个白痴
那个永远永远都在等着‘他’的
白痴

HOLIDAY II

went out wif my 'frens' 2day
erm...at least some of them are
popular,cinema,wetex...
nothing special frankly
but...still feel kinda happy d
othough its FAKE
ya...fake frens(some of them)..
fake laughter...
fake conversation...
fake everything...
but
at least i still hav the value 2 let them pretend in front of me
at least...i still worth 2 hav their fake smile
erm...i think tats enough
we shouldn' bother each other
or care about each too much
there's a boundary between us
a dangerous boundary
if any of us accidently cross tat line
PAK~~!
i m sorry...game over
erm...tats the 'me' rite now
the 'me' who learnt sth new from the cruel life
'When u lose sth,u earn sth'
tats how life goes...fair n square
no matter who u r
or where u r from
juz try 2 accept the law
through it...at least..u wont b so depress
or 2 hurt by a bad relationship
so..look wider
life is full wif mysteries
our future is full wif unknows
nobody knows wat ll happen next
so..cherish tis second
cherish the joyful moments
n try 2 ignore things tat ll make u feel awful
life...ll b better lik tis

HOLIDAY

holidays arrived, finally...
waited so long 4 tis
finally hav a chance 2 take a break le
at least..tats wat i think
but i found out not
school homework...
sports day practise...
malay forum script...
extra self-advance exercises...
man...tats driving me mad>.<
but...i know i can over come it
i hav the ability
so i shouldn't blame or grumble anything
its my duty 2 study rite?
b4 adjusting myself 2 a new enviroment
all i can do is 2 upgrade myself 2 a higher level
tats 4 my future...
i wished i was able 2 do greater things
but not being bothered by some kind of silly problems
there's nothing we cant solve
there's nothing 'I' cant solve
as long as i m willing 2 work hard
i wont give up
n i don wanna let my parents being worried about me
i m a big girl now...
not a burdensome child...
though i know it needs a lot of hard work 2 prove it
but i ll try my best
n i hope tat i could continue doing it...
tats all i can do
4 me...my parents...n my future...

复杂

今天分了两张考卷
我最不擅长的 地理+化学
真不知怎么搞的
看到分数时 真的有点吓倒
毕竟那与我预料中差了好远
花了好多精神在念的地理 没好到哪里去
至于连看都不想看的化学 如往常 烂到不行
至少在我心目中的标准里 算是挺差的
唉 但有什么办法呢 不考都考了
面对那刺眼的数字
我真的很尽力的在说服自己
‘不过是个分数 没什么大不了的’
‘不过是个分数 没什么大不了的’
但 事实上 并不是
或许 自己已经忘了读书的乐趣了吧
连妈妈都说我这次好紧张
说真的 我一直都不想承认
第一名 真得挺有压力的
当路过的每个人 对你期望甚高时
你就会努力的守住自己的位置
决不让自己轻易倒下
而当你 面对着忽然迎面而来的挫折
周围的人却以期待的眼神望着你时
那种感受 真得 好复杂
就像站在断头台上的犯人一样
只要一将事情说出来
沾满血腥的战刀
便会把你的自尊剥得一滴不剩
哈哈 自尊吗？
曾几何时 分数 变成了我的‘自尊’？
原来 自尊也可以变得那么廉价
我还是到了今天才发现呢
真是 讽刺
真是 可悲

什么是好朋友？

1.好朋友就是经常叫你去死的那些人……

2.好朋友就是老是说你有病叫你看医生的那些人……

3.好朋友就是抓住你的一个缺点说上半天的那些人……

4.好朋友就是知道你要去看医生还笑嘻嘻问你死得没的那些人……

5.好朋友就是在你面前肆无忌惮地说很难听的话的那些人……

7.好朋友就是说要拉大队去你学校把你吃穷的那些人……

8.好朋友就是看着自己玩的很开心在旁边不参与也会觉得很开心的那些人……

9.好朋友就是会教你怎么走路小心，过马路看车的那些人……

10.好朋友就是你考完试还晕乎乎的时候在你出现在你面前嘻嘻哈哈，还说你不要怕，吸取经验，明年再考过的那些人……

11.好朋友就是跟你一起不分轻重可是对你父母毕恭毕敬的那些人……

12.好朋友是平时恶型恶相，却在你遇到难事时语重心长地开导你的那些人……

13.好朋友就是那些无论原本是忧郁，沉默或是乐观向上， 在一起总是嬉闹声一片的那群人……

14.好朋友是你想起嘴角上扬的那些人……

15.好朋友是时间和距离都无法从你脑海，心中带走的人……

16.好朋友就是听到你说了一句错话笑闹半天还要罗嗦上一段时间的那些人……

17.好朋友就是岁不经常联系，但你还忘不掉的那个人！

18.好朋友就是俩个人在一起，你不用担心会说什么错话。做错什么事的那个人！

19.好朋友是你会突然想念的那个人！

20.好朋友是无论谁占谁一点便宜都不会计较的那个人！

21.好朋友就是和你同甘共苦。不会出卖你的那个人！

22.好朋友就是什么事都会和你分享的那个人。

23.好朋友就是好久没见，在一起时还会和你套心窝子说话， 就像昨天刚在一起吃过饭的那个人！

24.好朋友就是和他在一起时你是最真实的你的那个人。

25.好朋友就是很久没联系，见面也不会尴尬的那个人。

26.好朋友就是无论你做了什么傻事。都会给你支持和信任的那个人。

27.好朋友就是……无论他做了什么，你也觉得他是你好朋友的人！

how about u? do u think it is accurate? haha...

MERDEKA~~!

MERDEKA!!!
the torturing n burndensome exam finally ended lah...
yeah......(clap)(clap)(clap)
haha...so hai...=='''''
haiz...waited tis day 4 so long oredi...
damn tiring d lol..tis time d exam...
cant even sleep well omost everynite..
mayb its bcos i m too nervous gua...
n the range is oso quite wide too...
haiz...did the paper lik a dead fish...
n the result oso sure dead d lol...
din thought the paper can b so tricky...
wuwu...kena tipu 4 quite a questions d leh...
haiz...cant avoid it..who ask me too b such pure n naive...XD
haha...anyway...
still not so satisfied wif the result tis time leh..
though the whole class mati 2gather..
but..i think the questions r quite easy d wat..
mayb is careless gua..>.<..hav 2 b cautious about it lol..
haha..onot my papa+mummy sure ll nag me non-stop d...>.<
they were quite talented in tis kind of stuff...
then leh...
my mummy said tat i m too stress tis time...
papa said not enough sleep...
then...both drag me 2 go n c tv...=='''
lolz...got tis kind of parents d mie???
haha...but nvm...i m quite happy wif tat..^^
haha...hav 2 work harder next time lol...
(i can hardly imagine mypapa+mami's look...)
(suddenly bcom so hardworking)
(papa:"should b vry happy-go-lucky wat???")
(me:"am I??")

exam vs emotion

exam...the word i hate the most
though i lik learning new things..
but i still cant agree wif tis kind of system..
hav study 4 juz some kind of silly result..
it is ridiculous...
they dun even care wat they learn..
juz squeze it all into yor tiny brain then u r safe..
wat nonsense..
but still..it is quite tiring d..
a big pile of things 2 learn man..
anyway..i felt happy too...
especially bio n his...
man..i lov it so much...
din even know there is still such interesting things in the world dude..
ok..some of u may say tat i m mad..
erm...mayb all...
haha..but there is nothing different 2 me...
sometimes i ll oso feel tat i m odd 2..
haha..silly rite?
but it is the truth..
dunno why leh...kinda out of spirits in class d tis year..
haha..
juz keng gai wif Ms Somebody during class..
the famous dreaming queen..
but still..a queen ll feel lonely 2..
or even lonelier...
for being prisoned in wealth..kinda pity 2 say..
erm...then...
she said she suddenly dun hav the mood 2 care about things around..
n..
it is quite tiring 4 hav 2 pretend 2 b happy in front of those fake ppl...
oso...
she is kinda bored of life cos there is no true frens around her except 4 me...
n it is exactly the same wif me too..
haiz...looks lik i m not the onli lonely person in tis world...
anyway...i started 2 feel more delighted now..
at least...i m not alone..
though i m lonely..^^

命运

有时 真的觉得命运很残忍
难道 它就非得要在我最接近愿望
离愿望只剩一步的时候
将它毁灭吗？
..............................
看着我所珍惜却不能拥有的 就这样消失不见
我的心 真的很痛
无法言语的痛
但 命运始终是理智的
它狠狠地刮了我一巴
让我从美梦中觉醒
对
也对
只有这样 我的心
才不会去奢望任何贪心的念头
.............................
不属于自己的东西 本来就没有理由拥有
这是个很简单的道理
但我到现在才了解
愚蠢
傻瓜
............................
现在的我 想放弃了
虽然不知道能不能做到
也不知道这颗心会不会动摇
但 我相信 命运终究会叫醒我的
因为 它永远都是最理智的

迷茫

现在的我 很迷茫
不是感到压力
也不是因为被背叛
只是 很单纯的 迷茫
是的
现在 未来 会有很多的事
很多未知的挑战等待着我
而我呢？ 当然是要克服 然后争取成功啊
但 我不知道 也找不到理由
我 为什么要面对那些挑战？
我 为什么要担心那些事？
而又为什么 我非得成功不可？
真的 很简单的问题 我却没有答案
也没有人 能告诉我
问这种问题 应该只会被当作疯子吧
不错 我想自己也大概是快疯了
为什么 我要关心周围的事呢？
在这种现实的社会里
明哲保生 应该才是最理智的啊
的确 我并没有经历过什么要死不活的大事
但 这社会的恐怖 这社会的尔虞我诈
却让还未开始的我感到害怕
不 应该是迷茫才对
为什么 我必须隐藏自己 在人群中生活呢？
难道就不能 勇敢一点 抛弃面具吗？
抱歉 我还是没有答案
要我赤裸裸的 面对身边的人 我真的做不到
每个人的心 都应该得建一道墙来保护自己的不是吗？
哪怕只是薄薄的石灰墙
这样一来 即使是崩溃了 也应该还有微笑的理由啊
不是吗？
曾经 有个人 要我以真诚的心对待身边的事物
这件事让我挣扎了很久
到最后 我不明白 我还是不明白
因为 除了那几位真正的朋友和家人
我真的没有办法 坦诚的 没有防护的 对待其他的人
这 就叫自私吗？
我不知道
直到那个人来告诉我真正的答案之前
我应该 永远都 不会知道
永远的 迷茫下去吧

谢谢你...

恩...
有个朋友,在‘但愿’那片留了封留言...
鼓励我，勉励我...
真的，很谢谢你。
对，我们俩的确是很相像的两个人。
或许有着不同的个性 不同的喜好
但却在人生中面对着相同的难题...
这点让我感到很欣慰。
至少 我知道自己不是在孤军奋战...
这点得谢谢你。
我们面对着一样问题
我选择逃避 不去想 不去理会
但 你却勇敢多了
你愿意去面对 克服 最终也解脱了
这点 让我为自己羞耻
也让我鼓起勇气去面对他
这点 得谢谢你
你在努力 我看见了
而我 也会试着去努力的
我知道很难 也可以说是比你的难多了
但 我知道我行的
或许是没像你那么果断 那么理智
但我会用我自己的方法 慢慢的 一步一步的
离开 不回头
不再心软 不再留恋
感情 的确得在最灿烂的时候结束才会美丽
谢谢你教会了我这一点
我会努力 无论是为你 还是为我
或许这无法成功 但 至少我知道 我不会有遗憾
现在不会 以后 也一定不会
谢谢你

happy CNY~~~

2day's the third day of 2010 chinese new year
haha^^vry busy d lol tis year
one side buffet
another side steamboat
n then leh
still hav 2 serve those guest at home pulak
aiyo...dah mahu pengsan lah>.<
the weather hor...damn hot man
dunno wat climate is tis
walao... especially at my grandma's house
man....tat kind of temperature...it's indescribeable!!!
totally unbelieveable 4 me 2 survive till now
indeed a miracle(=='''''.......)
anyway
sure still hav some happy memories during CNY d mah
such as tat pile of angpau money lol
then oso can gamble wif my cousins lol
(when my papa's not around lah>.<)
n then hor
tis year is extremely heng d lol
dunno how a 100ringgit angpau ran into my bag
n i didnt notice it
100RINGGIT man!!! si be lucky d lol
dunno which rich man gave us d
(i onli saw the angpau...but 4gotten the face>.<)
haha...anyway juz found tat i hav lost my interest in playing fireworks oredi
dunno why leh...i used 2 quarrel wif my bro over it d
but i d prefer reading tis year
haha...juz finish reading 2 novels...by Giddens
gonna admit its kinda xx d lah....but still quite interesting d lol...
haha... i hav 2 declare i didnt buy tat book PURPOSELY leh
its juz...the cover didnt look lik those xxx one lol
n the tittle seems normal 2
n then..... haiz
really hav 2 believe an idiom rite now
'NEVER JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER'
haha...quite regret d...but nvm
at least some of the boys in my class lik it heihei...>.<
ah...kinda late now...wanna ooi ooi liao
haha...but b4 tat
wanna wish all my frens a happy CNY ya
hope tat u all ll get many angpaus tis year lol
n the most important thing
dont 4get mine ya
haha
HAPPY CNY~~~~

团圆饭

今天 真的好开心
班上康乐举办了个新年团圆饭晚会
其实也没什么特别的
就吃吃buffet 玩一玩游戏 拍了一些照片 就回家了
是的 这聚会的确很简单 也很平凡
但 不知为何的 心里感到特别温暖
应该是因为大家都在一起的关系吧！
开心时 一起笑
整人时 更是合作
唉 真的真的 好开心
今天 2010年2月12号 麻坡中化中学初三仁的大家
或许 以后的以后 我应该会忘了他们的样子
他们的声音 甚至是他们的名字
但 我知道
我永远永远都不会忘记
我曾经属于初三仁
一个很合作 很融洽 无忧无虑的家
对 我的家
在这个家里的每一秒
我都觉得好像即使天塌了下来 我们都能一齐顶着的似的
就像以前 小学时的欢乐时光
那么难忘 那么令人回味
我想 即使是十年 二十年以后
我还是会回头望望的
这个小镇 这个充满回忆的中学旅程
唉 真不知道人生中还能不能再遇到 那么温馨的家
那么热情的家人 那么令人心暖的笑容
但 我仍觉得 我真的真的很庆幸 能够认识到初三仁的大家
自初一 初二 一直到现在
但 大家 总不能永远永远在一起吧？
总有一天 我们还是会各奔前程
逼不得已的离开彼此 奔向未知的前方
但 即使是如此
即使 我比大家先提早向前了一步
我 一辈子都不会忘记 我曾经有个很棒的家
当大家在聚会时 开心得合不拢嘴时
我心里就在想 即使现在要我马上离开 也应该不会有遗憾了吧
因为 大家总是那么开心的 一起玩 一起笑 一起度过每一天
.........................................................................................................
但愿上帝 能够保佑这群我爱的家人
让他们的笑容 一直一直的 灿烂下去
也让他们的笑声 永远永远的 那么响亮 那么融化人心
阿门